Grief is something we all encounter at some point during our life. It’s our natural response to loss, whether that’s the death of someone we love, the end of a relationship, a job, or even a major life change. But sometimes, grief feels so heavy that we wonder: Is this still grief, or is it depression? The two can look and feel similar, yet they are not the same. Understanding the difference matters, because while grief and depression can both be a natural process due to life events, depression may also be a medical condition that deserves specific care.

What Grief Looks Like

Grief is a reflection of love, and it can show up in many different ways. It often brings deep sadness and a longing for the person we’ve lost, along with unexpected tears that surface when memories or reminders catch us off guard. Grief can affect us physically, too, showing up as fatigue or changes in sleep. It will stir a complicated mix of emotions—sadness, anger, guilt etc and even moments of relief—that can feel overwhelming. For some, it also impacts eating habits, leading to a loss of appetite or, at times, turning to comfort food for solace.

One of the defining features of grief is that it tends to come in waves. Some days feel heavier, while others bring glimpses of lightness – maybe even moments of happiness. Grief allows space for both sorrow and moments of joy, often side by side.

What Depression Looks Like

Depression is different. While grief is tied to loss and comes in natural ebbs and flows, depression tends to feel more constant and pervasive. It isn’t always connected to a specific event, and it can affect nearly every aspect of life. People experiencing depression may notice persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness, a loss of interest in activities that once brought joy, and significant changes in sleep or appetite. It can also make daily functioning difficult, fuel feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness, and in some cases, lead to thoughts of death or self-harm.

A key difference is that depression often blocks out joy entirely. While someone grieving may still laugh or find comfort in connection, depression can feel like a fog that never lifts. Clinical depression is a recognized mental health condition that requires professional support and treatment.

When Grief and Depression Overlap

It’s not unusual for grief to trigger symptoms of depression. Sometimes grief doesn’t soften with time, and instead of gradually adjusting to life after loss, a person can feel trapped in it. This is often called complicated grief or prolonged grief. When this happens, the pain of loss remains as raw as it was in the beginning, making it hard to re-engage with daily life or find moments of peace. People may avoid reminders of their loved one altogether, or, on the other hand, feel unable to think about anything else. They might carry intense guilt, replay “what ifs,” or feel life has lost all meaning. When grief becomes stuck in this way, it isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a sign that extra support and gentle guidance may be needed to help find a way forward. So how do you know when it might be more than grief? Some signs include:

• Sadness that doesn’t ease over time.
• A sense of hopelessness most of the day, nearly every day.
• Withdrawing completely from people or activities.
• Inability to function in daily life.
• Suicidal ideation.

If you recognize these in yourself or someone you love, it’s time to reach out for support.

Finding Support

For grief, healing often comes through sharing stories, creating rituals, and finding community. For depression, professional help is often essential, whether through therapy, support groups, or medication. Both grief and depression benefit from compassion, time, and connection. Remember: seeking help does not mean you’re grieving “wrong.” It means you’re human, and you deserve care.

Final Thoughts

Grief is  love with nowhere to go – and it can turn into a depression which is a mental illness. Both are heavy, but neither should be carried alone.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or find yourself thinking about harming yourself, please reach out to your local crisis line. You don’t have to walk through this alone. Support is out there and reaching for it is an act of strength. If you need support, here are two organisations here in the UK you can contact.

www.sossilenceofsuicide.org

www.samaritans.org

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